Don't Speak
by Jude81
Summary: Lexa is exhausted from trying to hold the Coalition together, so Clarke does what any good girlfriend would do: gives Lexa what she needs. F/F. Light BDSM. Smut & Feels. Two chapters. I lied. This is now three chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: This is soft BDSM. Nothing too kinky. Please note that the story refers to the fact that Lexa and Clarke have had previous conversations about scenes and safe words. Lexa knows she only has to say one word for it all to stop.**

 **Note: Chapter 2, which is the last chapter, will be up in the next couple days.**

Clarke looked up from the pad of paper balanced precariously in her lap when she heard the creak of the heavy door open just enough to let someone pass through. She smiled when she heard the heavy whump, and she turned back to the pad of paper, charcoal in hand as she carefully smudged the lines she'd just drawn.

She continued to work for a few minutes, the portrait slowly taking shape under the scratch of her charcoal. But soon the silence was enough to make her raise her head again, her brown knit in confusions. She cocked her head, her hands still as she listened for the sounds that never came.

She got up, placing the pad of paper and charcoal on the small table in front of the chair she'd been curled up in, and cautiously walked across the room to the antechamber with the entrance door. She hesitated for a moment, straining to hear any sound. Nothing. She reached behind her wrapping her fingers around the dagger in the back of her pants. She counted slowly to ten, trying to calm her racing heart before she slowly inched the door open, just enough to peer through. What she saw made her open the door immediately, her hand coming out empty from behind her back.

"Lexa?"

The other woman didn't move, just stood there, hands wrapped around the edges of the small table holding a cracked enamel basin of water. She could see the white of Lexa's knuckles even from ten feet away, the harsh lines of her stiff shoulders despite her head hanging low.

She stepped carefully into the room, her eyes scanning the room quickly for an unnamed threat, but she found nothing. She stepped up behind Lexa, the only indication the other woman knew it was her was the way she tilted her head slightly. She placed her hands lightly on Lexa's hips, her fingers catching at the heavy fabric of her coat. She eased her arms slowly around Lexa's waist, pressing lightly into her back. She pressed her face between Lexa's shoulder blades, ignoring the way the crimson sash tickled her nose.

She waited a few moments, her concern growing with each passing minute that Lexa didn't acknowledge her. It was unusual for Lexa to do such a thing, Clarke couldn't actually recall a time when Lexa had ever blatantly ignored her. She pulled away a little, stepping back a few inches and pressing her palms firmly against Lexa's abdomen. She kept pushing against her belly, slowly coaxing the other girl to release her grip on the stand and move back into Clarke's arms.

"Lexa, can you turn around for me?" She kept her voice low and soothing. She had only ever seen Lexa like this one other time, when Wren, Lexa's youngest natblida, had died in a training accident; and it had frightened her then, just as it did now.

She relaxed slightly when Lexa finally released her grip on the table with a heavy sigh. The older girl shook her hands slightly, before rubbing them together, trying to get the circulation flowing again. But she still didn't turn to face Clarke.

"Did the meeting not go well?"

Lexa shrugged her shoulders slightly, before shaking her head, her voice was thick and grating, "No. They do nothing but argue and whine. The weeks we spent hammering out the new trade agreements just became null and void because the Horse Clan ambassador backed out." She snorted harshly, "Apparently the Delphi ambassador insulted their Chief's son last night while they were all out drinking too much ale. And now Horse Clan refuses to lease the pasture rights to Delphi."

Clarke groaned, mentally cursing both the Horse and Delphi clans. She knew how much Lexa had bartered and bribed in an effort to get the two clans to agree to the lease, so she could then convince Horse Clan to provide the horses needed to the Blue Cliff clan, who would in turn cede land to Skaikru. One deal depended on the other, and now they were back to where they had been weeks ago.

"I'm sorry." She rested her hands lightly on Lexa's back, before turning her gently to face her. She bit her lip when she saw the dark circles under Lexa's eyes, the haggard lines stripping her face of her youth. "How can I help? I can return to Arkadia and ask Kane to offer more of an incentive to the clans, so they will be more willing to come to the table?"

Clarke stepped back, her hands catching Lexa's. She didn't want to return to Arkadia, but she would if it would help relieve Lexa's burden. "I know the coalition is fragile since the rebellion. What if we speak to Roan again? He was helpful in overthrowing Ontari, maybe he will help keep the Horse Clan in line?"

She dropped Lexa's hands bringing her own to her hips before spinning on her heel and pacing back and forth while she tried to figure out how to bring the clans back to the table. "We could talk to Luna too. I know she doesn't really want much to do with Skaikru, but we have medicine that we could use, and she could use her influence with the Blue Cliff Clan? Or we could talk to the Shining Forest Clan?" She rubbed her brow, feeling the beginnings of a headache as she continued to pace, forgetting about Lexa for a moment.

"No, we can't do that," she muttered as she came to a halt, frown cutting across her face. "If we go to Shining Forest, that will just increase hostilities with Sankru, and they are batshit crazy as it is…no…we need something else…"

Lexa winced as she watched her lover pace back and forth, hands gesturing to the empty air as she thought out loud. It was a cute habit of Clarke's, to speak to the air while she tried to work out a problem, but tonight it wasn't cute. Not after eighteen hours of fighting in the council room with the ambassadors, not after three solid weeks, day after day of listening to their petty squabbles, each childishly demanding more than they wanted to give. She had argued until she was hoarse, her voice scratching, her throat too tight to swallow.

"Clarke." Nothing.

"Clarke!" The blonde finally came to a halt, surprise splashed across her face as she hesitated before nodding, and stepping closer to Lexa.

"Lexa, we can figure it out. Sankru doesn't have much to offer, but we need to make them feel important. How do we do that? Lexa?"

"Please, stop."

Clarke froze, her arms dropping to her side as she stared at Lexa's pale face, the dark shadows hollowing out her eyes. She bit her lip and nodded. "I'm sorry. You're right. This isn't what you need right now." She reached down, grasping Lexa's hands and bringing them to her mouth, dropping soft kisses on the scarred knuckles.

"What do you need?"

Lexa gulped, knowing she should just shrug it off, tell her lover she didn't need anything, that she was fine. That she wasn't weak, she was strong enough. But she was too exhausted, the burden of leadership laying heavy on her head and shoulders. She bit her lip, her teeth catching roughly at the skin, and she winced as she felt the skin pull slightly, tasting the rust that sprang from it.

"I just…" she shuffled, her head hanging, her messy hair tumbling down past her shoulders to shield her from Clarke's warm eyes. "I don't want to talk," she whispered, voice barely audible. "I just want to be."

Clarke stared at the crown of her head for a moment, her heart breaking a little for the older girl. She let go of her hands, and brought her own up to raise Lexa's chin. It took a moment before Lexa would meet her gaze, and when she finally did, she leaned in and pressed her mouth gently to Lexa's, tasting the copper tang on her lips.

"You don't have to speak." She pulled back, grasping Lexa's hand and pulling her into the chamber she'd been in earlier. She bypassed the chairs, tugging Lexa gently towards the bed. Once at the foot of it, she raised her hand, cupping Lexa's face. She smiled at the way the older shifted, her eyes nervously flitting about the room.

"You don't have to do anything or be anything here. Just you. Just Lexa. You don't have to speak." She pushed Lexa's hair out of her face, her gaze searching Lexa's to make sure she understood.

"Don't speak." The words were firm, a little heavier than her previous words, and when Lexa's eyes widened slightly, she knew the brunette understood. She waited until Lexa nodded, her shoulders suddenly sagging, the harsh lines of her body folding in on themselves.

Clarke smiled and reached up, tugging her pauldron off. She carefully wrapped it in the crimson sash and set it aside, before brushing her palms up Lexa's clothed belly, and over her breasts to rest on her shoulders. She waited for Lexa to look at her, and when the older girl did, she leaned in, brushing her lips across her chin, kissing along her jawline while she pushed the heavy coat from slim shoulders.

She let it fall to the ground and kicked it away, smiling at the way Lexa winced slightly. The coat was part of her station, but she wanted Lexa to remember that there was more to her than just Heda. And Heda had no place in their bedroom. She wrapped her hands around Lexa's neck, clasping them behind. She pressed her body lightly against Lexa's, grinning when Lexa automatically moved to wrap her arms around Clarke's waist.

"Uh uh. I didn't give you permission, did I?"

Lexa's eyes widened, and she hesitantly dropped her arms from around Clarke's waist. She licked her lips, slightly unsure. This was a relatively new dynamic, and normally Clarke was the one on the receiving end. They had discussed it before, and Lexa had shyly admitted, after a little coaxing, that she wondered what it would be like to just be able to give up all control, to not have to worry about what to say or do. She knew the safe words, the same words they'd discussed at great length. All she had to do was say "Arkadia," and everything would stop. Come to an end. She moved her hands behind her back, nodding that she understood, that she accepted how this worked. Her shoulders slumped forward a little, and she knew it wasn't the correct posture probably for this, but she was so tired. Everything felt dull and heavy, even the air around her.

Clarke leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Lexa's forehead. "Good, girl," she murmured, smiling when the dull green of Lexa's eyes brightened slightly. She ran her fingers along the older girl's throat, marveling at the satin feel of her skin. She pressed her fingertips lightly into her throat, biting her lip when she could feel the movement of Lexa's throat when she smiled. She imagined what it would feel like to have her fingers pressed inside Lexa's mouth, the feel of the other girl's tongue circling her fingers, sucking lightly before she pressed down on her tongue. She wondered if she would gag a little, and would Lexa enjoy it. She bit her lip harder, stepping back and dropping her hands to her side.

She stared at Lexa for a full moment, enjoying the way Lexa shifted under her heated gaze. "You are so beautiful," she murmured, her voice low, slightly husky. She smirked when Lexa blushed, dropping her head to hide her face. "Uh uh. Look at me. I want to see your beautiful green eyes, the noble arch of your brow, the gentle kisses on your lips."

When Lexa shifted and looked up at her, her eyes shining in the low light from the candles, Clarke stepped closer, her hands catching the hem of Lexa's shirt. She palmed her belly, smiling a little when Lexa instinctively sucked in her breath. She rubbed her palms across her belly, her fingers tickling along the bottom ribs that jutted just a little too much.

"Lift."

Lexa raised her arms over head, before she even realized she'd done it. She bit her lip, worried that maybe she enjoyed it too much, Clarke's ability to command her with a simple word.

"Stop thinking, love." Clarke reached out, her fingers tracing Lexa's eyebrow, smoothing out the furrow born there. "It's ok for you to just act. You don't need to think or speak. Just relax." She tugged the shirt up and over Lexa's head, tossing it to the side.

"Keep your arms up." She sifted her fingers through the wrapped linen until she found the end piece carefully tucked in along her side. She started to unwrap the long binding, grinning at the way Lexa's sucked in her breath when Clarke had to lean forward to unwind it from around her back, both her arms encircling Lexa's waist, her breasts brushing against Lexa's.

Once it was fully unraveled, she tossed the pile of linen to the side. "You can lower your hands now, behind you." Once Lexa had complied, she pressed against her, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"You remember what we talked about before? You remember your word?" She kissed Lexa's chin when the girl nodded quickly. "Good. Now I'm going to give you one last chance to speak, after this no more speaking unless you need to say your word. Ok?" She pulled back, her hands resting on Lexa's hips.

"Anything?"

Lexa took a deep breath, straightening her shoulders slightly and shook her head. She was tired of speaking and yelling, of offering solutions only for them to be rejected, exhausted from compromising and accepting empty promises, only for it to blow up in her face. She simply wanted to be here. Quiet and unassuming, strong and pliant. Here. With Clarke.

Clarke nodded, noting the way Lexa lifted her chin and met her stare, her eyes no longer so dull, confidence shining from them. She was ready.

"Get on the bed."

 **Note: Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I lied. This is going to be three chapters.**

Chapter 2

 _Clarke nodded, noting the way Lexa lifted her chin and met her stare, her eyes no longer so dull, confidence shining from them. She was ready._

 _"Get on the bed."_

"Wait. Take off your pants first." Clarke smirked at the surprise in Lexa's eyes, smiling at the slight heat that flushed across the older girl's neck. She arched an eyebrow, "well?"

Lexa nodded dumbly. She had been naked numerous times in front of Clarke, but never with such a drastic shift in dynamic. It made her skin tingle, her breath stutter in her chest at the thought of what Clarke might do to her. Her fingers shook slightly as she fumbled with the laces at the front of her black pants, but she soon had them unraveled enough that she could hook her fingers into the top of her pants and roll them down over her hips and down her legs.

She lost her balance slightly, stumbling in her nervousness, but she was relieved when she felt Clarke's steadying hands under her arms. She looked up, meeting Clarke's warm gaze with her own shy gaze. She dropped her head quickly, suddenly overwhelmed by the warmth and tenderness she had seen shining in the depths of Clarke's blue eyes. She'd had to look away, unreasonably afraid that she would drown in the blue of her gaze, lose herself completely, and never return from the broad expanse of blue. It unsettled her at how much she suddenly wished she could simply let go, crawl under Clarke's own skin, and let Clarke's heart become her own.

Her pants pooled at her ankles, and she gazed at them for a moment before kicking them away. She folded her hands in front of her, head still down, her vision clouding with wet salt. She could spend the rest of her life living inside of Clarke's chest, warmly cocooned in the spaces between the other girl's ribs, and it would be a life well lived.

Clarke cocked her head, puzzled by the sudden shift in Lexa's mood. She seemed as if she were somewhere else, and Clarke hesitated, questioning if maybe now wasn't the time for this. She reached out, grasping Lexa's naked hip, squeezing enough to get her attention.

Lexa jerked slightly at the sudden squeeze of Clarke's hand on her hip, and she half-chuckled, half-coughed, the sound rough and bursting from her throat with too much force. She shrugged and nodded at Clarke's questioning look.

Clarke decided to let it go, once Lexa focused on her, nodding her head. She would ask her later.

"Get on the bed."

Lexa nodded, and moved towards the bed preparing to sit down when Clarke's voice stopped her, making her freeze in place.

"Belly down."

Lexa hesitated, stiffening slightly. She didn't like sleeping on her belly or being on her belly in general. It left her back open to attack, left her vulnerable…weak. She rested her hand on the bed, her fingers digging into the soft furs. She looked over her shoulder at Clarke, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of Clarke standing tall, her face perfectly composed, wide-legged stance, hands on her hips.

"I said belly down, Lexa." Her tone was firm, not harsh, but just enough steel coloring each word for Lexa to slowly nod her head. She knew what Clarke was asking of her, was asking for this measure of trust. She knew how uncomfortable it made Lexa to be on her belly, and Lexa knew what Clarke was really asking: trust that I love you enough to not hurt you, to keep you safe.

She turned and faced the bed, putting both hands on the furs and heaved herself up onto the bed, but not before she felt the sharp slap of Clarke's palm on her ass. She coughed in surprise, not from pain, but because she hadn't expected it. No had she expected the way the slight warmth and sting would hollow out her belly, the emptiness pushing between her ribs, only to fill with a nervous, sick warmth. She couldn't identify the feeling. It was unpleasant, and yet strangely intoxicating.

She licked her lips, pushing the feeling away, and heaved herself fully up onto the bed. She crawled to the middle, and lowered herself onto her belly, conscious of every fiber of fur brushing against her belly, digging like a thousand needles.

"We need to work on you doing what your told, when you're told," murmured Clarke. She crawled up onto the bed, situating herself at the foot, on her knees. She could see the muscles in Lexa's back, straining under her skin. She wrapped her palms around the bottom of Lexa's feet, squeezing lightly, before digging her thumbs into the pads of her heels.

"You're fine, baby," she whispered, as she leaned down, kissing each calf muscle, dragging her lips up and down the length. She dragged her fingertips up and down her legs, as she shuffled forward, knees pressing against the inside of Lexa's legs, forcing them open. She nuzzled her face against the warm, silky skin of the back of Lexa's thighs, dusting soft kisses around the bottom edge of her ass.

She sat up on her knees, gripping the backs of Lexa's thighs, massaging the tight muscles there as she dragged her hands up to her bottom, gripping and squeezing it. She smiled at the way the firm curves molded to the shape of her palms, and she leaned down, licking along the curved edges between her cheeks. She chuckled at the way Lexa stiffened before slowly relaxing, under the warmth of her mouth.

She shifted and crawled up slightly, so she could straddle Lexa's ass. She let her weight come to rest, and she silently bemoaned the fact that she was still clothed, and couldn't feel Lexa more intimately under her. But she had deliberately chosen to keep her clothing on, to upset the balance of power. She didn't want Lexa to see her as herself as Clarke's equal right now. She wanted to strip Lexa completely of Heda, and her duties, and burden, and just let herself exist between each moment and the next.

She wrapped her hands around Lexa's waist, her thumbs pressing lightly against the sides of her spinal column, and she slowly dragged them up, stretching the layers of muscles. She repeated the motion a few times, before switching and digging her thumbs into the spaces beneath the wings of her shoulder blades. She grinned when Lexa groaned, the knots slowly unraveling in her muscles.

Clarke chuckled, "You have a knot for each ambassador, and it's time they left. They are no longer welcome here." She dug her fingers into the knots, massaging and loosening them one by one.

"Your body is mine," she muttered, her belly warming in excitement as she leaned down, kissing along the wings of her shoulder blades, before sinking her teeth into the flesh muscles of her neck and shoulder.

Lexa yelped at the sharp pain that dug deeply into her muscle, but the heat radiating from the bite burned warmly through her muscle, and she felt herself relax, the pain quickly fading, replaced by the wet heat of Clarke's tongue as she laved the small bite. It was deep enough to bruise, but not to bleed.

Clarke climbed off of Lexa's body, tapping her firmly on her bottom. "Roll over."

Lexa rolled over, her limbs slightly heavy from being massaged. She settled on her back, stretching her neck and shoulder, secretly pleased at the twinge from the bite. She shifted again, enjoying the way the soft furs felt against her loose muscles. She watched as Clarke climbed off the bed, padding over to the chest against the wall. She bit her lip, nerves rolling in her stomach as she watched Clarke scrounge around in the chest.

It was only a moment before Clarke's fingers scraped against the soft fabric she was looking for. She withdrew the long sash. She carried it over to the bed and held it up for Lexa to see, knowing the girl immediately recognized it by the way her brow furrowed, and her nose scrunched slightly. It was obvious Lexa had already figured out her intention with the sash, but she didn't know how she felt about Clarke using that particular fabric for what she intended.

Clarke let it run through her fingers like liquid, smiled at the way the cool silk slipped and slid around her fingers. It was her ceremonial WanHeda sash, and it was meant to be worn with a certain amount of reverence, but it was perfect for Clarke's intended use. Strong but silky to the touch, and it represented Clarke's own power, the power of WanHeda.

"Hands above your head. You can grab onto part of the lattice work." She waited for Lexa to find a comfortable hand hold, before she climbed back onto the bed, deliberately trailing the sash across Lexa's thighs and belly, swirling it around her breasts, across her face, and up her arms. She wanted Lexa to get used to the feel of it, let it tease her skin, slowly build her excitement and nervousness.

It took a few minutes for her to tie Lexa's wrists to the lattice work. She tugged on the sash, untying and then tying again to make sure that it wouldn't put too much strain on Lexa's muscles, loose enough that if she panicked, she could escape, but firm enough that she knew she wasn't in control. It was a fine line, and she hoped she had done it justice.

She sat back, letting her gaze rake over Lexa's body, her eyes lingering on her lips and her breasts. She grasped Lexa's hips and pulled, dragging her body down a couple inches, so her arms were stretched a little tighter over her head. Just loose enough that it wouldn't cause her pain, but tight enough that she wouldn't be able to leverage her lower body by powering her arms.

She swung her leg over Lexa's hips, settling her weight evenly. She dragged her fingers up and down her belly, smiling at the way Lexa involuntarily flinched, sucking in her stomach slightly from the light tickling. She leaned down, kissing gently, tracing the slight definition of her abs with her tongue. She hummed at the light taste of musky salt, and she dipped her tongue into her belly button, wiggling her tongue as Lexa sucked in her belly in an attempt to retreat.

Clarke dug her fingers into Lexa's hips, warning her with a firm hold. She kissed and licked along her belly, running her tongue along the bottom edges of her ribs. She nipped and dragged her teeth along the lattice of her ribs, enjoying the way Lexa groaned and arched her back, offering up the cathedral of her body to Clarke's biting adulation.

Clarke tucked her hands under the small of Lexa's back, holding her arched back, forcing her to bow her spine slightly. She sucked dark lilac blossoms between the spaces of her butterfly ribs, as strong and delicate as the spars of the great cathedrals that once dotted the land.

Lexa sucked in her breath, her muscles trembling under the stinging tenderness of Clarke's mouth and hands. She groaned when teeth scraped across her ribs, arching her back into the pain that blushed across her skin, sliding deeply into her muscles, warming them with every bite and kiss.

She knew Clarke was trying to pull her out of her own body, coax her into a space where she didn't have to speak or think, only let Clarke carry her through the wisps of just being. But she could feel her mind whirling too fast still, tumbling over itself as she mentally catalogued each pull of Clarke's fingers, each slurp of her tongue across her skin. She whimpered as she struggled to let go, wanting nothing more than to just be, to rise out of her body, and float into warm space.

Her muscles trembled, and she could feel the sweat starting to slick her skin, wetness gathering between her thighs. She rubbed her legs together, trying to alleviate the gathering heat there. She hadn't expected that the thin trails of pain dancing along her ribs would feel so good, would call to her like the sirens of old that led men to their doom.

She twisted, flexing her fingers around the worn, wooden trellis headboard. She shifted her hips, pressing up into Clarke, wishing Clarke was as naked as her. She craned her neck so she could look down at the crown of Clarke's golden head, watched with dark, wide eyes as Clarke kissed and sucked her way up her belly to the underside of her breasts. She sighed in contentment, her head falling back onto the pillow when wet heat closed around one pebbled nipple. She hissed when teeth tugged lightly at it, and the heat shot down her breast and belly to flare between her legs.

She opened her mouth, wanting to speak, to say something, even it was no more than a sigh, but the words died on her tongue when Clarke brought her face close to her own, her blue eyes searching Lexa's green. And when she opened her mouth, Clarke surged forward, capturing the sigh in her own mouth, swallowing it before Lexa could react.

Lexa could feel her mind growing foggy, her vision blurring so much that she simply closed her eyes, opening herself up to the insistent tug and tickle of Clarke's fingers playing with her nipples, the wet slide of the blonde's tongue against her own, the scrape of her teeth along her bottom lip. She could feel every tug and suck lighting little fires in their wake, all smoldering and burning long furrows down her nerves to meet between her legs. Her clit ached, and she was sure she could feel it pulse in time to the pounding of her own heart.

But it wasn't until she felt deft fingers slide between her wet folds, finding the root of her clit and pinching, that her mind finally went white.

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


End file.
